It's my last day...

Once upon a time, in a retail store far, far away, there was a young Jables who had served his time and his customers with dignity, aplomb, style and as much generosity as he could muster. This Jables had met many interesting and exceptional people in his time there, but not everyone in the world is worth meeting, and this lesson he learned as well. Specifically, there was one person that taxed his professionalism and willingness to present a positive face for his employers business to the absolute limit of human patience, but Jables soldiered on throughout his employment.

This story is not about how Jables, writing about himself in the third person like a complete pillock (apologies to the Scandinavians who know the origin of this word), put up with this ponce, but rather how Jables irrevocably burned the bridge between them leaving nothing but charred stumps at either end of the chasm remaining to this day. This is a story of practicing what we preach.

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Though I do not mean this in any way as a justification, the young man in question is a loathsome individual, injecting himself into the social circles of individuals who do not welcome him, injecting himself into conversations that are beyond his understanding or welcome, and generally posing as the center of the universe as megalomaniacal personalities of below-average intellectual and social merit are won't to do. I also have no interest in posing the Jables character as somehow in an elite class, as superior to this young man in any way, as the art of explosive severance is practiced by villains rather than heroes.

This young man had been harassing Jables customers for years, had been spinning tales of the events he attended with the town's social elite, and generally posing as if he we're of a higher class of being, despite his universally unpleasant reputation among individuals who had met him and realized quickly that he was a social leech. Truly, though, this story does not begin properly until the final day of Jables employment in the retail space frequented by the young man. Jables had earned respect and friendly relationships with many of his customers and co-workers, who valued his knowledge of the product and honesty regarding their purchases. They we're going to miss him, and many of these individuals made sure to come to Jables last day of work, but all we're hoping in the back of their minds that the young man had not heard this would be Jables last day because all knew he would inject himself into the genuineness of the situation and erode all value and feeling from it. This young man shall from now on be known as the Needler.

Sure enough, however, the Needler arrived roughly one hour before the end of Jables final shift and began to insinuate himself into as many conversations as he could eavesdrop on. When the appointed hour came, Jables clocked out for the last time, erased his managerial credentials from the computer system, and got ready to relax. Jables, having greatly appreciated and enjoyed his employment, started writing out a greeting card to his employer, which would also include Jables key to the store, and this was all the opportunity the Needler needed to begin his unwanted advances.

He said nothing, sliding casually back and forth between the installations of high quality merchandise and sidled up beside Jables before launching into a hug-rape of Jables. This is not a good idea, said Jables, feeling the prickly disgust and revulsion of his opinion of the Needler creeping under his skin, I'm a bit prickly right now. The response: Ok, sorry, I'll get you in a minute.

Jables finished the writing of this card and hand delivered it to his employer because he thought such events should be commemorated in person. When Jables returned to the sales floor, he cut and lit a cigar he had saved for this occasion, and began speaking to his friends, colleagues and former customers. Then, a call from directly behind him, the Needler had flanked Jables! Hey buddy, the Needler called out in his reedy voice, congratulations on finishing your last day. How dare the Needler be friendly, kind and courteous! Jables responded, yeah, Ok.

Im glad to have been able to know you and be served by you, the Needler said as he placed is vile, cold hand on Jables shoulder. Jables maintained a cool demeanor despite the fuming, incendiary rage burning in the pit of his stomach and roaring up behind his eyes. Yeah, you probably shouldn't put your hand there, said Jables.

Why, Buddy? Whats up?

Jables looked him over, feigning a confused look, asking, You did hear that I no longer work here, right?

The Needler quickly replied, Yeah.

Jables had him. So you know they are no longer paying me to talk to you, right?

But I always thought of your as a friend. [Needler]

So it never occurred to you why I never showed up to anything you have invited me to over the last three years, never once called you or invited you to anything I was doing, and never once showed any interest in you in any way other than my professional capacity here? [Jables]

But you always seemed so nice, I thought you liked me. [Needler]

Listen, I treated you as I would anyone else because I belonged to the shop, but you have always bugged the hell out of me, and I'm sorry you could never see beyond professional courtesy to the person behind it. That was always the issue, people are so flat to you, and I just never wanted anything to do with it. [Jables]

Oh, said the Needler, keeping his ludicrous and empty smile adorning his face.

Yeah, so, if you'll excuse me I have friends I need to talk with because it's my last day, yknow. So, bye.

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Posted in Jobs/Employment Post Date 05/15/2021


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